How refreshing it was yesterday to cry my heart out to Spirit, to shout my anger and frustration, just me and God alone, with no one else around. Release… letting go… opened my heart to receive, to get to peace and connection. It felt so intimate… so close to Spirit… togetherness. I can still feel it with me today. For that, I am most grateful.
I am reminded of the song “I Release and I Let Go” by Rickie Byars Beckwith:
There was a time in my life
I thought I had to do it all myself
And I didn’t know the grace of God was sufficient
And I didn’t know the love of God was at hand
But now I can say
If you are discouraged
Struggling just to make it through another day
You got to let it go, let it all go
And this is what you have to say
I release and I let go
I let the Spirit run my life
And my heart is open wide
Yes it’s only up to God
No more struggle, no more strife
With my faith I see the light
I am free in the Spirit
Yes it’s only up to God.
Yes, my life is only up to God, to Source. I am not in control, AND I’m doing the best I can. If Spirit wants to see something different out of me, then Spirit will have to effect the change. Spirit is The Power, and I am Its vehicle. I release and let go all to Spirit, and let It run my life. I am willing, I am open. I am at peace.
And so it is.
Today is a special day for me: the 19th anniversary of stepping into the 12 Step rooms.
March 10, 1990 – the most important day of my life because it was the dawning of my path of coming to believe in Spirit.
In the past, I’ve often said that the only way God was going to get my attention was to hit me over the head with a baseball bat in the form of food. Sounds a bit forceful, but I did reach bottom, so the only way to go was up. I’m so grateful for finally having the willingness to check out the 12 Step program in spite of the ‘G’-word – working it transformed me and hence my future life, and made me a better human being for my fellows.
Since that fateful day, I’ve discovered and explored other paths, some complementary to the 12 Step philosophy, some not so much, but all leading Home just the same.
These days my path is no longer focused on the 12 Steps; still, it is and will always be dear to my heart.
I will be forever grateful to Bill W. and Dr. Bob, the founders of AA, who with Spirit, started it all. And, I’m grateful for all those I’ve met along the 12 Step path, who helped me and vice versa – you are dear to me. It is a way of living and a family like no other I’ve encountered.
We are all so very blessed, one day at a time. And that is surely cause for all of us to celebrate.
Well, the Thanksgiving holiday is over, it’s December 1st, and holiday preparations are on full throttle!
We’ve gone from a morning where it looked like few of the Wyer family would be together during Christmastime, to this evening’s exciting news of folks coming in from parts west of here. I’m really looking forward to the holiday and getting to better know Rog’s immediate family. It’s going to be fun, fun, fun – and busy, busy, busy!
So, am I ready for another blast of entertaining and activity? Will I take good care of my soul amid the flurry of activity, expectations, preparation, etc.? Yes, yes, yes! I really want to be present and enjoy the time.
I am not much fun or of great use to anyone else if I do not take good care of me, and socializing becomes a not so joyful time. Thanksgiving experiences and insights are still ripe in my memory. To experience the joy of the upcoming season, I will take time to b-r-e-a-t-h-e. The breath is so in the moment, a relaxing foray into peace and connection with Spirit.
As I make plans for our company, so too I will make plans for my spiritual being, both worthy of my love, kindness, and caring attention.