If I am in full alignment with God, then I am at peace and in a state of joy. And then, God is ALL that matters. It’s bliss. Nothing going on in the external matters in the least bit. In fact, it barely exists as I am so enveloped by God and His Love. This wholeness, this completeness is what I strive for but let it be known that this blissful state is not a continuing or even very regular occurrence for me. It pains me to say this but even more so, it pains me that it’s not my everyday existence.
When I’m not in total alignment with God, it means my ego is interfering. Then, my wholeness and Oneness can not be. It’s like this wonderful cocoon filled with God has a tear in it and that one tear acts like a rotten apple that spoils the entire barrel.
Obviously, there are blocks to my actualizing wholeness and Oneness with Spirit. The stronger my ego is, the more splintered is my peace and joy.
So what is it that gets my ego to start acting up, to break my peace? Ya know, often it just seems to come out of the blue, with no trigger. I know that, in part, it is due to my not being loyal to my soul, that is, not giving it the nourishment and attention it needs, i.e., sacred time and space. But, it’s more than that.
If I could just find out what that switch is that turns me from moving towards God to veering away… What is it inside me that does not want to fully bask in the “Sunlight of the Spirit”? What happened in my childhood? What ‘thing’ has festered in me over the years in this lifetime (or perhaps another one) to keep me from fully being aligned with God and at peace? This includes: being all that I can be, right thinking, perfect self expression, giving in service, receiving my good, enjoying rich relationships – all the gifts that God wants me to have in His Kingdom on earth, now.
Well, I think I’ve got the solution to this problem. Instead of me trying to figure out what is the piece in this puzzle that keeps me from my Oneness with God, I will ask God for help. I will ask God to shine the light on what it is I need to know and heal it. And, I will ask God to heal that which I do not need to know or understand, and for me to be okay with not knowing. I will ask God to pluck it out, do the surgery, and heal me once and for all.
Yes, with God all things are possible. Away with the old of having to analyze and to know, and in with the new of going to God for help and letting Him handle things. I cast the burden. I surrender.
Dear God –
Please remove all obstacles within my being that keep me from my good and from realizing You fully. Where it is helpful to You for me to know causes and experiences, then provide me with that knowledge. And, where no understanding is needed on my part, simply heal me and make my way clear. Thus may I reside in Your Kingdom now, and, being in alignment with You, may I be of help to others. Thank You. So it is.