Beyond the World

“Care not what the world thinks, and allow God to protect and nurture you in ways the world cannot comprehend.” – The Voice for Love, September 12.

Ah… what a soothing idea.

My ‘handle’ on when I was seeking Roger 5+ years was “Unusual Woman”. Yep, unusual, that’s me. It’s not always an attractive term to others, but thank heaven it was to Rog!

It also means that oftimes I felt like I did not fit in.

I wasn’t comfortable in my family of origin and couldn’t wait to move out on my own.  Being an educated woman didn’t always endear me to my lesser-educated male colleagues when I worked at AMTRAK (the railroad), especially when I excelled and became their supervisor. The New York banking world was not a good fit either. Socially, I often felt uncomfortable, not feeling able to connect to people, perhaps because of age, gender, values, whatever.

But of course, the lack of comfort was with myself, not the outer world. Still, to some extent, maverick that I was (not always out of choice it seems), I did care about what others thought of me.

It wasn’t until I joined a 12 Step program that I felt like I fit in. I fit it with others who had eating disorders, understood my crazy behaviors because they’d been there too, and were honestly look for a better way of life. I fit in because there was mutual respect, love, and concern.

I did not fit in initially from the ‘God thing” perspective as I was a devout atheist when I first entered the rooms.  That of course changed, and when I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, I started fitting in at other venues too. For now, Spirit was with me, I no longer felt alone. It no longer mattered what others thought of me. It just came down to me and God.

I am glad to be reminded that it does not matter what the world thinks as I march to the tune of a different drum. Spirit is always with me, and there is where I find comfort, love, joy, and peace beyond the world’s understanding.

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