“The Lord is the strength of my life. God will show us at any time the meaning of anything that we require to understand, will show us at any juncture what it is we ought to do, and He will furnish us with Divine strength to do it.” – Emmet Fox in his essay Light and Salvation
We are getting down to the wire to find a new place to call home in Sedona. I feel I’ve released a lot in these past months – possessions, emotions, expectations, thoughts – and I’ve still got a ways to go. Based on conditions of time, finances, and desired location, we’ve been contemplating various housing scenarios, including renting a one-bedroom house. This is a challenge for me.
Ever since I bid au voir to my studio apartment in Manhattan, I’ve always had a specific room in my home set up as my office and quiet space. That has meant at least a two bedroom layout. When I bought my home in Gilbert as a single woman, I was blessed with three bedrooms. When Rog came into my life we converted the guest bedroom into his office. He had his office, I had mine, each to decorate and do with as they pleased. This had always been my ideal: a couple shares a bedroom and have their own separate spaces. Having one’s cake and eating it too!
Living with my life partner has not meant that I still don’t want and enjoy my own private space alone. Just closing the door puts me into another world. This space not only serves as my office, but as my sanctuary to be with God in prayer and meditation. Sure, I can be with Spirit anywhere, but I love the container of my room. And, I’m just not ready to give it up – yet.
I’ve always been easy to live with. However, growing up in the family that I did, once I no longer had to share a bedroom with my twin brother, my bedroom became my sanctuary. It was the peaceful world away from the chaos of my family (except when my twin brother would blast the stereo in his bedroom next door). And during my single days I only had roommates when a friend needed a place to stay for a brief while or when I took a share in a vacation house. I had always said that I preferred living alone unless my roommate was going to be my life partner; I pretty much kept to that.
Yes, I love playing house with Rog and we do it so well. But whilst we may be twin flames soul-wise, in this physical world of illusion, we are two distinct beings. So, I still cherish my time and space alone. And oftimes, I just want to go into my cave, close the door, and be still.
I know there is a new world coming, and living in community is part of it. And, it’s something I look forward to – so, I need to change. My perspective towards living with others needs to change. I must let go of past notions and be open to new arrangements. I must learn to feel like I’m in my sanctuary regardless of the physical layout. My sanctuary resides within me, wherever I am. It is not a physical place.
Dear Spirit –
Give me the strength to do Your Will with ease and grace, and rearrange my perspective so that I feel at home no matter where I am. Help me to be at peace and experience the Stillness in all locales. You are the strength of my life, and with You all things are possible – including changing my emotions about living space. Thank You, thank You, thank You.