Yesterday Rog and I had a meeting to discuss processes and scheduling in our website design and development business. It was a productive conversation that moved us forward.
Then he used the word production in querying how many websites I thought I could do each week. That triggered something in me that set off a barrage of anger and frustration, not the first time on this subject that involves money and time. I was acutely aware of my mind becoming limited and shutting down, and my heart space shrinking. Ego and fear had taken over once again.
But as Rog talked to tell me his perspective about abundance and intention, I got clarity as to what had set me off. Then I was able to express it, honestly and in a diplomatic way. This was a huge step for me: getting down to the cause, giving voice to my feelings, and standing up for myself.
I am aware that this episode was not really about Rog and me. It was about long-held patterns of thinking that do not serve me well and not feeling empowered. I am so grateful for the lesson and the teacher – what blessings! And, I am certain that this breakthrough was another result of my reactivation (see blog of 01/07/10).
I feel the garbage is being removed from my mind and heart and the Truth is being uncovered; it can only be with God’s help, grace, and love that this can be achieved. With each breakthrough, I feel more empowered, more in my heart, and better able to help others.
“… God is always with us… I will remember God’s presence today and discover the courage to face my fears.” – In God’s Care, January 13, 2010