I’ve met a lot of couples lately, and it’s interesting for me to observe what their relationship is like.

Is it about having a warm body in bed at night, someone to share household responsibilities and finances with, to have someone take care of the other? Or is it a real partnership in which the team members help one another not only in managing every day responsibilities and activities, but to help them evolve their souls, to support them in their waking up? Can I feel the love and joy energy between them or does it feel like they’re just making do with things?

Without a spiritual compass it seems impossible – not to mention extremely painful and depressing – to be in an intimate committed relationship. What is apparent to me now more than ever is that my partner is my best teacher on my path to full awakening, wholeness, and healing. Yet, without each of us having a spiritual foundation for providing guidance, strength, and love, it can not be so.

It seems to me a waste that others do not glean learning from their close relationships. Some actually carry resentments and blame forward into the future even when the relationship has long been dissolved.

My spiritual foundation was built primarily on 12 Step principles and secondarily on A Course in Miracles (ACIM) after adhering to an atheist viewpoint for many years prior to that. In the 20 years since, I’ve incorporated other spiritual traditions’ ideas into my belief system. Of course I’ve found that there is no competition in spirituality and in fact much commonality of principles (boy, what a relief that is in this usual world of duality). Rog’s spiritual foundation was built early in his life on Jesus’ teachings from his religious upbringing and continued with ACIM. We’re pretty close in our beliefs and we both consciously endeavor to practice them in our daily lives.

When Rog and I get into a ‘challenging’ discussion, we each seek to listen without ego to the other, to be honest and respectful of self and other. We strive for clear communication with love. We make amends when we have erred and we forgive one another and/or ourselves when needed. We are open to being both student and teacher.

When we married almost five years ago, we each promised to the other “… to do my best to always see the Light in you. I promise to do my best to be your perfect shelter, where you can be reborn in safety and in peace.” Keeping these promises has allowed us to wake up more and more, and to enjoy greater freedom.

In this crazy, changing world thanks to my Higher Power and my life partner, I am not just ‘getting by’, but I am evolving and waking up. I am so very grateful.