Category Archives: 12 Steps

Came to Believe

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“Came to believe”: The three most beautiful words in our language. – Anonymous “Came to believe” had become a magical phrase for many of us. It is indeed beautiful. What did we come to believe? That a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. And it has happened in so many lives that it is a tenet of our program. The lost have come home; we’ve been restored.” – “In God’s Care*: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery,” March 1 *As We Understand God I too “came to believe” thanks to the 12 Step philosophy. And it was more than just coming to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity regarding my eating disorder, although that was huge for sure. In addition to being restored to my right mind, I came to believe in Spirit, no small feat for a long-time, analytical, logical, devout atheist. I came to believe that I wasn’t alone in the world, in life, that I had this loving Divine Presence in my life, along with people who could actually understand me and truly care about me. I came to believe that it was okay to ask for help, … Continue reading →

Belonging

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“Belonging is a deep spiritual need.” — “Paths to Recovery: Al-Anon’s Steps, Traditions, and Concepts,” by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., page 270 I was reading about participation in groups, specifically as a volunteer giving service in a 12 Step program. It wasn’t until I became a member of a 12 Step group for eating disorders that I felt like I belonged. Of course, a 12 Step group is focused on spirituality, but I had no clue that a sense of belonging was actually a need, a spiritual need at that! Just like I didn’t know my eating disorder was about me trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, trying to fill a spiritual need (connection to Spirit) with a physical thing (food). I immediately felt at home in 12 Step meetings; I didn’t feel so alone. That was a tremendous milestone for me. But I think belonging goes beyond feeling not alone and may take some time to develop. Belonging, to me, feels warmer, is a stronger sense of closeness and bonding. I didn’t experience that sense of belonging in my family of origin, and, in fact, felt fairly isolated since I felt no one understood … Continue reading →

Invisible But All-Penetrating

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“If we carry a light into a darkened room, the darkness is dissipated without effort on our part. So it is the experience of one who has a deep consciousness of Life. Something invisible but all-penetrating will flow through his every look and gesture. People will feel better sitting in his presence.” – 365 Science of Mind: A Year of Daily Wisdom from Ernest Holmes, February 3 Reading the aforementioned got me strolling down Memory Lane, the early days of being in 12 Step program. I had found Home when I stepped in to my first meeting back in March 1990. I resonated with people’s stories, feelings, reactions to life, and the use of our common drug of choice as a coping mechanism. More importantly, I found love, compassion, understanding, and acceptance unlike I had ever known. As I studied and put into practice the principles and tools of the program, I came to believe in a Power greater than myself. Giving of my time, talents, and treasure—being of service—gave my life tremendous meaning and filled me with joy and enthusiasm. My whole attitude and outlook upon life changed. It was all so new and quite different from my past … Continue reading →

The Three-Minute Timer

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“The first duty of love is to listen.” – Paul Tillich I grew up in a dysfunctional family of six, my mother, father, and three brothers. It seemed like most of us regularly interrupted someone when they were trying to speak. It was like you had to jump in and override someone else to have any possible chance of speaking in an undisciplined setting. To top things off, there was very little real communication in the family system; I felt like we were six people who happened to live in the same house. I was indeed lost… So, it’s no surprise I had to work on my listening and other communications skills. A milestone (one of many) came when I joined a 12 Step program more than 30 years ago. Most of the meetings I attended used a three-minute timer when members shared. This was to ensure that as many people as possible would have the opportunity to speak. I will never forget my delight in knowing that I had a full three minutes to share and no one was going to interrupt me! It provided me with a feeling of peace, worthiness, being respected, etc. Cross-talk was not permitted … Continue reading →