Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

Before my head hits the pillow at night, I find it helpful to constructively review my day.

I think about how I was as a person, i.e., how I treated all those I came into contact with. Was I kind and loving? Helpful? Could I have improved upon my behavior, my thinking? And, I make a list (mentally or in my journal) of the blessings. It is fascinating to look at something that initially seems like a negative and realize that it was really a blessing. There is a blessing in everything if I’m conscious.

This day, I think I was pretty ‘clean’ in how I treated all those I came into contact with. In particular, in a delicate situation, I was gentle and diplomatic as I posed a personal question to an acquaintance, and it was with the idea of helping her.

Ten blessings of this day for which I am grateful:
1. Morning coffee time with Rog where we talk mostly about Spirit
2. Hot shower
3. Receiving a check in the mail
4. Attended a planning meeting for a women’s workshop which further fostered two blooming friendships
5. Coffee with a friend at an outdoor café and caught up on her life and the world of real estate
6. Meditation and quiet time
7. Solo morning drive in which I got to sing to spiritual music, a form of prayer for me
8. Initiated getting together with someone outside of our business meetings in order to get to know one another better – and was warmly received
9. Reliable car filled with fuel
10. Evening dinner date with Rog

Coming up with a gratitude list makes me pause and reflect. It reveals to me that I have much to be thankful for. I find it a terrific exercise for my soul and, anytime I am feeling down, making a gratitude list lifts my spirit.

Now, to laying my head on that pillow…

Slowing Down

Do this! Do that! Oh, here’s yet another thing added to my plate for today. Do, do, do! What a crazy day this is already.

Yesterday it was worry and fear, today it’s feeling overwhelmed. I hadn’t done my morning readings, meditated, or blogged. But, I did find some nice deep breaths (my dear yoga instructor Mary often asks us to “find a deep inhale”) that centered me so I thought I was good for a while longer.

Then God really got my attention: my front tooth’s crown came off without any prior notice although recent problems with it made it no surprise. The whole day just changed again. That was the last straw – I slowed down, no choice. I called my dentist and arranged for an emergency appointment today, then I postponed one business meeting. And, now I’m blogging.

But was it really God who got my attention to slow down? Or, was it my ego (as Rog suggested)?

Slowing down has two aspects to it, one for peace (God), another for blocking our good (ego). There’s no question the morning has been hectic, too hectic for my liking. So I really did need to slow down, breathe, get centered. I’m grateful to finally be doing that. I can’t say I like the way it came to be.

But to be slowed down as a way to block moving forward is another matter.

Rog and I have been keenly focused on two things: simplifying our lives and growing our business in alignment with God’s will. Professionally, we have turned down contracts and clients so that we could be true to ourselves and Spirit. Several months ago we made the conscious decision to work with like-minded people and to only accept projects that would first and foremost provide us with the forum to creatively express ourselves, what God wants us to do, to be. Earning money was to be the secondary consideration. You know, do what you love and the money will come. With that decision I felt such freedom, and power, and joy; moving past years of angst and stepping into what God and faith were calling to me.

We’ve made great strides in downsizing expenses, material possessions, unfulfilling relationships, etc. It’s been a wonderful time spiritually – and a bumpy one financially. We have been meeting marvelous, new, like-minded people, and, we now have a batch of prospective clients who we know we’ll enjoy partnering up with and who Spirit will use as channels for financial prosperity.

And now, my front crown comes off! Of course, that’s not the only thing that’s happened in recent days to throw me disturb my peace. But, do you know how horribly ugly the gap in the front of my mouth is?! Not to mention the time and expense of the permanent solution that is required? Well, I’m not going to let this or my ego sidetrack me from my good.

I know what’s truly important and what I need to keep my focus on, and it’s not of a physical nature. So, I’m finding a deep inhale again, relaxing, and sticking close to God. All is well – it cannot be otherwise.

Worry, Sworry!

I awoke in a state of fear and worry. I hadn’t felt that way for quite some time, I’m glad to say.

Worried about finances, worried that I didn’t yet send out an anniversary card, worried that I still needed to respond to emails, worried that a contract wouldn’t come through, worried that the contract would come through… You know, Worried with a capital ‘W’. So silly of me – I should know better (I still have a little ‘shoulding’ work to complete). And, I do, intellectually.

Well, intellectually doesn’t do it for me. So what then does? Replacing worry and fear with faith. Faith with a capital ‘F’. So, I straightened out my desk! Okay, I know that’s not what’d you’d think of vis-à-vis faith, but I did feel better getting organized and seeing a lot more desk surface!

Moving on, I wrote an email to a person going through her own doubts and concerns and felt better connecting with another soul and being of service. I wrote in my email about knowing that Spirit was in charge and when I stay focused on that, I know and feel (ah, here we go now, getting to the heart) all is well. And, of course, that’s true.

Next, I picked up my morning inspirational readings and one of them hit the nail on the head:

In Daily Guideposts 2008, Dolphus Weary included in his story: “Peace grew in my heart from knowing that God is in control and that He provided all that we had and all that we would need.”

[A little synchronistic, you think?…]

And, I meditated to get to the silence within, where there is truly peace and I am at one with God.

These are but a few ways that I can get back to the Truth (with a capital ‘T’). There are many ways for me to get caught by my ego and let worry and fear run riot. But the ways to get back to the Truth are far more powerful than they and at my fingertips always. I just have to remember to ask God for help and take the steps that I can.

Thank You, Spirit, for always uplifting me when I call out to you.