Eleven Months Down the Road

Except for one time this past April, I have not blogged in close to a year. I just looked at that one from July 7th of 2010 – it is striking how apropos it is to now.

In it, I quoted from Psalms 46:1 (KJV): “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” I continued with “God IS. I must acknowledge the One Power and One Presence, and affirm it daily. Then I know that all is well despite appearances.”

Whatever I am struggling with, I am in the right place. Quoting from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: “There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.” And, after all, I came to believe through synchronicity!

Everything always comes down to this: focus on Source. That’s where the guidance lays, the peace, the love, the joy. I am grateful to be writing once again as it is another way for me to spend time alone with Spirit as well as an opportunity for self-expression, for creation – which goes back to Source.

I may feel alone amid a crowd of humans, but when I focus, really focus, on Spirit, I can feel Its presence and I also know that I am not alone. Thank You, Spirit, for always being with me, and for keeping me aware that I walk in Your light.

I will close with the same prayer I wrote on the morning of 07.07.10 –

Dear God;

As I wake up to what is needed and what is not, I know You are my refuge, and my strength comes through You. Show me Your Will, show me Your Way. Today I make room for what is fresh and new, knowing You are ever present and all is well.

Worry, Sworry!

I awoke in a state of fear and worry. I hadn’t felt that way for quite some time, I’m glad to say.

Worried about finances, worried that I didn’t yet send out an anniversary card, worried that I still needed to respond to emails, worried that a contract wouldn’t come through, worried that the contract would come through… You know, Worried with a capital ‘W’. So silly of me – I should know better (I still have a little ‘shoulding’ work to complete). And, I do, intellectually.

Well, intellectually doesn’t do it for me. So what then does? Replacing worry and fear with faith. Faith with a capital ‘F’. So, I straightened out my desk! Okay, I know that’s not what’d you’d think of vis-à-vis faith, but I did feel better getting organized and seeing a lot more desk surface!

Moving on, I wrote an email to a person going through her own doubts and concerns and felt better connecting with another soul and being of service. I wrote in my email about knowing that Spirit was in charge and when I stay focused on that, I know and feel (ah, here we go now, getting to the heart) all is well. And, of course, that’s true.

Next, I picked up my morning inspirational readings and one of them hit the nail on the head:

In Daily Guideposts 2008, Dolphus Weary included in his story: “Peace grew in my heart from knowing that God is in control and that He provided all that we had and all that we would need.”

[A little synchronistic, you think?…]

And, I meditated to get to the silence within, where there is truly peace and I am at one with God.

These are but a few ways that I can get back to the Truth (with a capital ‘T’). There are many ways for me to get caught by my ego and let worry and fear run riot. But the ways to get back to the Truth are far more powerful than they and at my fingertips always. I just have to remember to ask God for help and take the steps that I can.

Thank You, Spirit, for always uplifting me when I call out to you.

Keeping an Eye Out

Dear God, I am grateful for many things in my life. Please help me to be aware of and focus on all of the synchronicity and positive things that I encounter each day. Let me be mindful of others who might be in pain or who concentrate on the negative and offer prayers or words of encouragement to help them see beyond the illusion. Amen.

Coming upon the aforementioned prayer this morning was synchronistic itself! It is from the website of Christel Nani, a medical intuitive.

Weeks ago, a friend forwarded Christel’s September article on Energetic Patterns of Breast Cancer. I read it just this morning, was led to check out Christel’s site, and found her prayer list page. This was the prayer for this week.

It had meaning for me – synchronicity is ‘in the eye of the beholder’ – because the topic of last week’s Gilbert Spirituality meeting was synchronicity, I’ve been writing about synchronicity in this blog, and now, this day, I “just so happen” to read the old email that led me to a weekly prayer that “just so happen” to be on synchronicity – that’s how it works!

I am grateful for another occurrence of synchronicity and to be reminded to keep an eye out for it throughout my day, which means keeping a lookout for God.

My Story Continues…

[Continued from yesterday’s blog]

The day I departed for my first trip to Europe with six weeks of sobriety and 12 Step recovery under my belt, I had planned to work a good portion of the day and then leave directly for the airport from my office. I was delayed (ya know, just one more thing…), and rushed out of the World Financial Center in lower Manhattan hoping I would not miss my flight; I did not.

The plane was boarded, an older gentleman sat down next to me, and then he started making a fuss about the luggage under our seats. Nonetheless we settled in, the plane took flight, and before I knew it, my fellow traveler was placing a copy of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous into the pouch in front of him! Excited and feeling an instant connection with him, I turned to him and told him I had a copy of the Big Book with me too. Thus a dreaded 7-hour flight to Rome sped by as we talked in the same language about the Program, our feelings, and our experiences.

This was synchronicity at work for numerous reasons and I chuckled that:
. In this plane with 300 or so passenger seats, a member of a 12 Step Fellowship was assigned to a seat next to me
. His unmistakable membership in this anonymous association was revealed to me (and early in the trip)
. Peter was an American (like me) from the northeastern United States (like me) in a planeload mostly full of Italian-speaking Romans
. Last, but certainly not least, Peter was a Christian missionary stationed in Rome!

The significance here for me was strong. I was not left alone, new in my sobriety and new in my traveling to Europe. I got to enjoy the company of a ‘man of the cloth’ whereas up until this time, I had looked askance at ‘such people.’ Also, this came at a time when I was actively searching for a higher power. I walked off that plane onto another continent with a new attitude, my perspective shifted.

Upon hearing this story, my dear friend Jay (a member of the AA Fellowship) said to me “Even you, Joyce, have to admit this had to be more than a coincidence…” Indeed, even I. I chuckled, knowing (and glad) that my evolving conception of a higher power had a sense of humor.

My Story Begins…

The Gilbert Spirituality MeetUp Group met the other night and the topic was God Stories. We mostly focused on sharing incidents in which events happened which could not be a coincidence – or at least the person involved thought so, which is all that matters.

The idea of synchronicity was developed by Carl Jung and has special meaning for me. It was the way in which I came to believe in God. One of my first conscious “encounters” – after all God is always making Its Presence known but I often am not paying attention – occurred when I was newly on my path.

I walked into the rooms of a 12 Step program of recovery for eating disorders in March 1990 in New York City, bringing with me 19 years of ‘hard core’ atheism. I held a strong belief and daily practice based on Ayn Rand’s philosophy of Objectivism where reason and logic were the answer to everything and self-sufficiency, along with perfectionism, was extreme. I had a great disdain for organized religion, and would barely give a member of the clergy the time of day if asked to. But, I considered myself a ‘free thinker’!

Six weeks later, abstinent (sober) for that period, I was on my way to Europe for the first time. Being so new to the program and traveling into unfamiliar territory, I was concerned about my ability to remain abstinent. I endeavored to get a copy of the Big Book, the ‘bible’ of the program Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) on which my particular program was based, and secured a copy in the nick of time. Reading this, indeed just having it with me, was to help ‘protect’ me from my disease of compulsive overeating. I had not yet developed a conception of a higher power to help me. I was about to get a clear demonstration of Higher Power at work.

[Continued tomorrow…]