Refreshment

How refreshing it was yesterday to cry my heart out to Spirit, to shout my anger and frustration, just me and God alone, with no one else around. Release… letting go… opened my heart to receive, to get to peace and connection. It felt so intimate… so close to Spirit… togetherness. I can still feel it with me today. For that, I am most grateful.

I am reminded of the song “I Release and I Let Go” by Rickie Byars Beckwith:

There was a time in my life
I thought I had to do it all myself
And I didn’t know the grace of God was sufficient
And I didn’t know the love of God was at hand

But now I can say
If you are discouraged
Struggling just to make it through another day
You got to let it go, let it all go
And this is what you have to say

CHORUS:
I release and I let go
I let the Spirit run my life
And my heart is open wide
Yes it’s only up to God

No more struggle, no more strife
With my faith I see the light
I am free in the Spirit
Yes it’s only up to God.

Yes, my life is only up to God, to Source. I am not in control, AND I’m doing the best I can. If Spirit wants to see something different out of me, then Spirit will have to effect the change. Spirit is The Power, and I am Its vehicle. I release and let go all to Spirit, and let It run my life. I am willing, I am open. I am at peace.

And so it is.

Eleven Months Down the Road

Except for one time this past April, I have not blogged in close to a year. I just looked at that one from July 7th of 2010 – it is striking how apropos it is to now.

In it, I quoted from Psalms 46:1 (KJV): “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” I continued with “God IS. I must acknowledge the One Power and One Presence, and affirm it daily. Then I know that all is well despite appearances.”

Whatever I am struggling with, I am in the right place. Quoting from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: “There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.” And, after all, I came to believe through synchronicity!

Everything always comes down to this: focus on Source. That’s where the guidance lays, the peace, the love, the joy. I am grateful to be writing once again as it is another way for me to spend time alone with Spirit as well as an opportunity for self-expression, for creation – which goes back to Source.

I may feel alone amid a crowd of humans, but when I focus, really focus, on Spirit, I can feel Its presence and I also know that I am not alone. Thank You, Spirit, for always being with me, and for keeping me aware that I walk in Your light.

I will close with the same prayer I wrote on the morning of 07.07.10 –

Dear God;

As I wake up to what is needed and what is not, I know You are my refuge, and my strength comes through You. Show me Your Will, show me Your Way. Today I make room for what is fresh and new, knowing You are ever present and all is well.

Spiritual Preparedness

Well, the Thanksgiving holiday is over, it’s December 1st, and holiday preparations are on full throttle!

We’ve gone from a morning where it looked like few of the Wyer family would be together during Christmastime, to this evening’s exciting news of folks coming in from parts west of here. I’m really looking forward to the holiday and getting to better know Rog’s immediate family. It’s going to be fun, fun, fun – and busy, busy, busy!

So, am I ready for another blast of entertaining and activity? Will I take good care of my soul amid the flurry of activity, expectations, preparation, etc.? Yes, yes, yes! I really want to be present and enjoy the time.

I am not much fun or of great use to anyone else if I do not take good care of me, and socializing becomes a not so joyful time. Thanksgiving experiences and insights are still ripe in my memory. To experience the joy of the upcoming season, I will take time to b-r-e-a-t-h-e. The breath is so in the moment, a relaxing foray into peace and connection with Spirit.

As I make plans for our company, so too I will make plans for my spiritual being, both worthy of my love, kindness, and caring attention.

Fit Spiritual Condition

During a recent gathering in which I found myself a bit uncomfortable with circumstances, I found myself cracking jokes to ease my feeling of awkwardness. My remarks hurt someone’s feelings; when it came to my (surprised) attention, I made amends.

Now it doesn’t matter if that other person wasn’t in fit emotional, mental, or spiritual condition herself. What matters is that I keep my side of the street clean. It’s similar to the notion that no matter what is happening around me, I keep my peace.

So my job above all else is to stay closely connected to God. When there is even a faint hint that I have not been loving, it is a signal for me to immediately take a look at my spiritual condition, my relationship with God. From there, I must do whatever is necessary to correct the situation with the other person and to get back on track with God. Therein lies my peace. And, everyone is better for it.

Slowing Down

Do this! Do that! Oh, here’s yet another thing added to my plate for today. Do, do, do! What a crazy day this is already.

Yesterday it was worry and fear, today it’s feeling overwhelmed. I hadn’t done my morning readings, meditated, or blogged. But, I did find some nice deep breaths (my dear yoga instructor Mary often asks us to “find a deep inhale”) that centered me so I thought I was good for a while longer.

Then God really got my attention: my front tooth’s crown came off without any prior notice although recent problems with it made it no surprise. The whole day just changed again. That was the last straw – I slowed down, no choice. I called my dentist and arranged for an emergency appointment today, then I postponed one business meeting. And, now I’m blogging.

But was it really God who got my attention to slow down? Or, was it my ego (as Rog suggested)?

Slowing down has two aspects to it, one for peace (God), another for blocking our good (ego). There’s no question the morning has been hectic, too hectic for my liking. So I really did need to slow down, breathe, get centered. I’m grateful to finally be doing that. I can’t say I like the way it came to be.

But to be slowed down as a way to block moving forward is another matter.

Rog and I have been keenly focused on two things: simplifying our lives and growing our business in alignment with God’s will. Professionally, we have turned down contracts and clients so that we could be true to ourselves and Spirit. Several months ago we made the conscious decision to work with like-minded people and to only accept projects that would first and foremost provide us with the forum to creatively express ourselves, what God wants us to do, to be. Earning money was to be the secondary consideration. You know, do what you love and the money will come. With that decision I felt such freedom, and power, and joy; moving past years of angst and stepping into what God and faith were calling to me.

We’ve made great strides in downsizing expenses, material possessions, unfulfilling relationships, etc. It’s been a wonderful time spiritually – and a bumpy one financially. We have been meeting marvelous, new, like-minded people, and, we now have a batch of prospective clients who we know we’ll enjoy partnering up with and who Spirit will use as channels for financial prosperity.

And now, my front crown comes off! Of course, that’s not the only thing that’s happened in recent days to throw me disturb my peace. But, do you know how horribly ugly the gap in the front of my mouth is?! Not to mention the time and expense of the permanent solution that is required? Well, I’m not going to let this or my ego sidetrack me from my good.

I know what’s truly important and what I need to keep my focus on, and it’s not of a physical nature. So, I’m finding a deep inhale again, relaxing, and sticking close to God. All is well – it cannot be otherwise.

Worry, Sworry!

I awoke in a state of fear and worry. I hadn’t felt that way for quite some time, I’m glad to say.

Worried about finances, worried that I didn’t yet send out an anniversary card, worried that I still needed to respond to emails, worried that a contract wouldn’t come through, worried that the contract would come through… You know, Worried with a capital ‘W’. So silly of me – I should know better (I still have a little ‘shoulding’ work to complete). And, I do, intellectually.

Well, intellectually doesn’t do it for me. So what then does? Replacing worry and fear with faith. Faith with a capital ‘F’. So, I straightened out my desk! Okay, I know that’s not what’d you’d think of vis-à-vis faith, but I did feel better getting organized and seeing a lot more desk surface!

Moving on, I wrote an email to a person going through her own doubts and concerns and felt better connecting with another soul and being of service. I wrote in my email about knowing that Spirit was in charge and when I stay focused on that, I know and feel (ah, here we go now, getting to the heart) all is well. And, of course, that’s true.

Next, I picked up my morning inspirational readings and one of them hit the nail on the head:

In Daily Guideposts 2008, Dolphus Weary included in his story: “Peace grew in my heart from knowing that God is in control and that He provided all that we had and all that we would need.”

[A little synchronistic, you think?…]

And, I meditated to get to the silence within, where there is truly peace and I am at one with God.

These are but a few ways that I can get back to the Truth (with a capital ‘T’). There are many ways for me to get caught by my ego and let worry and fear run riot. But the ways to get back to the Truth are far more powerful than they and at my fingertips always. I just have to remember to ask God for help and take the steps that I can.

Thank You, Spirit, for always uplifting me when I call out to you.